Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
