See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
