I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize