I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize