i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
