Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
