I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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