You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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