Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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