So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
