at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
