My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
