doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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