Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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