Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
