That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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