As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
