Your mouth is God's brothel.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
