Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
