Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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