Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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