I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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