Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
