I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
