Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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