What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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