if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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