And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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