I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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