I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
