My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
