the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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