Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
