I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize