Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
