The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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