So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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