In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
