nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
