I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
