Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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