brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
