I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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