He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
