I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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