just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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