Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
