I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
vagina is talking i cant
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
