can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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