I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Mom said you looked used
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
