never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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