Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
