I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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