My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
