I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
