chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
