does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
