We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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