you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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