I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
