I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
handjob tips. give me some.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
