You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
