where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry about my life...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
