Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
